Lesson 35 How to Make Good Decisions

[Image:] A husband researching cars advertised on a website as his wife and children look on.

[Press play to hear the MP3 of the Lesson]

We all have decisions to make. Many of these decisions can have a big impact on us and our friendship with Jehovah. For example, we may have to decide where to live, how to support ourselves financially, or whether to get married. When we make good decisions, we can have a happy life and please Jehovah.

1. How can you use the Bible to help you make good decisions?

Before making a decision, pray for Jehovah’s help and examine the Bible to see how he views the matter. (Read Proverbs 2:3 through 6.) In some cases, Jehovah provides a clear command. If so, deciding to obey that command is the best choice you could make.

[Read scripture] Proverbs 2:3 through 6: Moreover, if you call out for understanding And raise your voice for discernment; If you keep seeking for it as for silver, And you keep searching for it as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of Jehovah, And you will find the knowledge of God. For Jehovah himself gives wisdom; From his mouth come knowledge and discernment. [End of Read scripture]

What, though, if there is no clear Bible command telling you what to do? Jehovah will still guide you “in the way you should walk.” (Isaiah 48:17)

[Quotation] Isaiah 48:17: This is what Jehovah says, your Repurchaser, the Holy One of Israel: “I, Jehovah, am your God, The One teaching you to benefit yourself, The One guiding you in the way you should walk. [End Quotation]

How? There may be principles that can guide you. Bible principles are basic truths that reveal God’s thoughts and feelings. Often we learn how God feels about a matter when we read an account in the Bible. When we discern how Jehovah feels, we can make decisions that please him.

2. What factors should you consider before making a decision?

The Bible says: “The shrewd one ponders each step.” (Proverbs 14:15)

[Quotation] Proverbs 14:15: The naive person believes every word, But the shrewd one ponders each step. [End Quotation]

This means that before we make a decision, we should take the time to think about our choices. As you evaluate each option, ask yourself: ‘What Bible principles apply? Which option will give me peace of mind? How will my decision affect others? Most important, will it make Jehovah happy? (Deuteronomy 32:29)

[Quotation] Deuteronomy 32:29: If only they were wise! They would ponder over this. They would think about their outcome. [End Quotation]

Jehovah has the right to tell us what is good and what is bad. When we get acquainted with his laws and principles and are determined to follow them, we are developing a good conscience. The conscience is our inner sense of right and wrong. (Romans 2:14 and 15)

[Quotation] Romans 2:14 and 15: For when people of the nations, who do not have law, do by nature the things of the law, these people, although not having law, are a law to themselves. They are the very ones who demonstrate the matter of the law to be written in their hearts, while their conscience is bearing witness with them, and by their own thoughts they are being accused or even excused. [End Quotation]

A trained conscience will help us make good decisions.

Dig Deeper

Take a closer look at how Bible principles and the conscience play important roles in decision-making.

3. Let the Bible guide you

How can Bible principles guide us when making decisions? Play the video Let Bible Principles Guide You (5:54), and then discuss the questions that follow.

[Disclaimer: The following video is created by Watchtower Bible and Tract Society; however, the audio description has been added by independent blind and sighted volunteers to assist those who are blind or have low vision]

[Click for Transcript]|[Let Bible Principles Guide You]
[JW Broadcasting. John Ekrann. Helper to the Coordinator Committee]
John: You and I make a lot of decisions every day. Now, some have a little impact on our lives; others have a very big impact. And we can appreciate that we can make choices and decisions for ourselves. Think of how life would be if you made no decisions for yourself, someone tells you when to go to bed, they pick out your clothes, and they tell you what to do for work. Well, none of us would like that! Jehovah gave each of us free will, and that’s the precious gift of making choices for ourselves. Now, have you ever thought about why Jehovah gave us this gift? I mean, why trust us with free will when he knew that we could make bad choices or decisions? Well, one powerful reason is love. The only way to give us the gift of love is also to give us the gift of free will. The two are tied together. You really can’t have one without the other. For example, if I programmed my computer to give me a message every day at 2:00 p.m.: “John, I love you. I think you’re a wonderful guy,” I think there’d be a little something wrong with me if I thought: ‘Aw, isn’t that nice? My computer, it loves me.’ Yeah, love only exists if it comes truly from a free-will expression. Now, did Jehovah place any boundaries on free will? Yes. They were stated in the Law to the nation of Israel. And Jesus later repeated them at Matthew 22:37-40: “He said to him: ‘“You must love Jehovah your God “‘“with your whole heart and with your whole soul “‘and with your whole mind.” “‘This is the greatest and first commandment. “‘The second, like it, is this: “‘“You must love your neighbor as yourself.” “‘On these two commandments the whole Law hangs, and the Prophets.’” So, our use of free will has love of God and love of neighbor as its boundaries. Notice, for example, what people are doing in this picture, both inside the circle boundary and outside. See, free will allows us to do any of the things we see in the picture. But love of God and love of neighbor move us to reject what’s outside the circle and choose to do the kinds of things that we see inside the circle. Now, to stay within those boundaries, Jehovah gave us a marvelous brain and a built-in conscience, but he also knows we need more help. And that’s why he also gave us Bible principles, basic truths from the Bible that can help us to make good decisions. And it can safely be said that any decision we face can be guided by Bible principles. Now, our Creator, Jehovah, knows what’s best for us. And he also trusts us to make decisions based on Bible principles because he knows that when we do that, then we’re really, truly going to be happy, content, and at peace with him and with others. So, in review so far: Jehovah gave us free will, that’s the privilege to make choices for ourselves, and he also gave us Bible principles as the boundaries to our choices. But making difficult decisions requires that we train ourselves to recognize Bible principles and apply them. Now let’s read Romans 12:1, and let’s see how this verse describes the decision-making process. “Therefore, I appeal to you “by the compassions of God, brothers, “to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, “holy and acceptable to God, “a sacred service with your power of reason.” So, are we using our “power of reason” to understand Bible principles? For example, young children ask lots of questions. But has a child ever asked you: “What happens when I drop a ball? a pencil? a book?” No, they don’t ask that. They know what happens to anything they drop. It falls down! See, the child doesn’t need rules for every object but has quickly grasped the principle. Anything he drops falls down. Now, what if an 18-year-old asked you, “What’s going to happen when I drop this pen?” Well, it’s obvious he’s not been paying attention to basic principles of life. So, by us paying attention to Bible principles, we can very quickly see the pattern of love of God and love of neighbor and know the right thing to do without a long list of rules for every situation. Well, how can we train our “power of reason”? We train it by paying attention as we read and study the Bible. Now, we don’t need rules for which movies to watch, which songs to listen to, or what clothes we can wear. If we’re paying attention when we’re reading the Bible, we train our conscience with Bible principles so we can make such decisions without needing a long list of rules.
(Logo: Black capital letters JW.ORG inside a white box. Copyright 2017 Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania) [Click to close]

What is free will?

Why did Jehovah give us free will?

What has he provided to help us use our free will in the best way possible?

To see an example of a Bible principle, read Ephesians 5:15 and 16 and then discuss the questions that follow:

[Read scripture] Ephesians 5:15 and 16: So keep strict watch that how you walk is not as unwise but as wise persons, making the best use of your time, because the days are wicked. [End of Read scripture]

How you could make “the best use of your time” to ...

read the Bible regularly.

become a better marriage mate, parent, son, or daughter.

attend congregation meetings.

4. Train your conscience to make good decisions

When there is a clear Scriptural command about a matter, the right choice may seem easy. But what if there is no such command? Play the video “Maintain a Good Conscience” (5:13), and then discuss the question that follows.

[Disclaimer: The following video is created by Watchtower Bible and Tract Society; however, the audio description has been added independently to assist those who are blind or have low vision]

[Click for Transcript]|[Maintain a Good Conscious]
[Emma turns a key in a blue mailbox, opens and collects the mail from inside]
Emma: Every day we make choices that can affect our relationship with Jehovah. When there’s a clear Scriptural command, the right choice may seem easy.
[She sits in her kitchen]
But what if there’s not? How can we be sure we’re making a wise decision?
[She smiles as she opens a brown envelope]
An invitation to our niece’s wedding arrived.
[Thomas peers over her shoulder at the invitation]
Thomas was excited about it.
[Together they examine the invitation and smile]
I was excited too.
[Thomas turns away, Emma gazes at the invitation]
But the ceremony was being held at a local church.
[Her wide smile began to fall]
I wondered if it would still be OK for me to attend. Even though Thomas wasn’t yet willing to accept a Bible study, he gradually softened over the years since I came into the truth. I knew he understood why I would never enter a church for worship, but what about attending a wedding? Jehovah approves of weddings.
[At Amy’s, Emma sits at the kitchen counter. Her head propped on her hands]
That afternoon, I went to help Amy plan a menu for the pioneer school lunch coming up. She noticed I was a bit distracted, so I told her my concerns about the wedding.
Amy: But you’re not thinking of going, are you?
Emma: Amy sure had a strong opinion on the matter, but I didn’t feel she really understood my situation.
[Emma ponders while Amy chats on the phone]
Although I appreciated her concern, I felt like she was judging me.
[Emma sighs with a pensive gaze]
The next day, I decided to visit Charlotte and Allan and ask their advice.
[Emma strides toward their home, greeted with a hug]
Like me, Charlotte had come into the truth many years before Allan, so they really understood my situation.
[They chat outside at a table]
Is Amy right? Would it be wrong to attend the wedding? What would you do if you were me? Charlotte explained that in situations where there’s no specific Bible command, it becomes a matter of conscience. And what one person’s conscience allows may be different from another.
[She imagines opening a wooden church door]
Charlotte: The important thing is that we make decisions that leave us with a good conscience.
[Inside, Emma hazes upward toward large, expensive stained-glass windows with crosses. Fresh flowers and incense adorn the pews. Now back with Charlotte and Alan]
Emma: But how do I do that?
Allan: Dear Emma, it’s really a matter of training.
Emma: Allan showed me the scripture at Hebrews 5:14, where the apostle Paul wrote: Solid food belongs to mature people, to those who through use have their powers of discernment trained to distinguish both right and wrong.
[Imagining Paul armed chained to a desk]
But Paul didn’t just write those words; he lived them.
[Paul examines the scrolls]
He carefully studied the principles in God’s Word. And as a result, he was able to make decisions that left him with a good conscience. So even when there’s no stated law on a matter, we can always find a Bible principle that can give us insight into God’s thinking. So, I made it a matter of prayer, and then I got to work.
[Emma at home sits at her laptop, Bible in hand, thumbs through pages]
I researched articles in the Watch Tower Publications Index and the Research Guide. I found a really good thought in chapter 2 of the ‘God’s Love’ book. I also read about others who faced similar situations and what Bible principles they found helpful. Then I meditated on all these.
[Amy and Emma serve lunch to the pioneers at the Kingdom Hall They take a picture together, their arms wrapped around each other]
As I kept studying, I was able to bring my conscience in harmony with Jehovah’s spirit, not just with my heart.
[Back at home, Emma places her bags in the kitchen, she stops and turns, gazes at the invitation on the refrigerator]
I realized that having a Bible-trained conscience doesn’t mean everyone will always think exactly alike, and that’s OK. But if we train our conscience by applying Bible principles, it will guide us along in life, so that each of us can remain in God’s love.
[With a contented sigh, she takes the invitation off the refrigerator, sets it on the table, and responds to it]
(Logo: Black capital letters JW.ORG inside a white box. Copyright 2018 Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania) [Click to close]

In the video, what steps did the sister take to train her conscience and to make a decision that would please Jehovah?

Why should we not ask others to make decisions that we should make?

Read Hebrews 5:14, and then discuss the questions that follow:

[Read scripture] Hebrews 5:14: But solid food belongs to mature people, to those who through use have their powers of discernment trained to distinguish both right and wrong. [End of Read scripture]

While it may seem easier to ask others to make decisions for us, what should we be able to distinguish for ourselves?

What is available that can help you develop your conscience and make good decisions?

[Image:] A person driving a car on a road. A GPS mounted on the dashboard helps the driver stay on the correct route. Caption: Like a map, our conscience helps us decide where to go in life

5. Respect the consciences of others

Different people will make different decisions. How can we show respect for the consciences of others? Consider two situations:

Situation 1: A sister who likes to wear makeup moves to a congregation where many sisters are bothered when they see others wearing it.

Read Romans 15:1 and 1 Corinthians 10:23 and 24, and then discuss the questions that follow:

[Read scripture] Romans 15:1: We, though, who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those not strong, and not to be pleasing ourselves. [End of Read scripture]

[Read scripture] 1 Corinthians 10:23 and 24: All things are lawful, but not all things are advantageous. All things are lawful, but not all things build up. Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person. [End of Read scripture]

Based on these verses, what might that sister decide?

What will you do if you are with a person whose conscience forbids doing something that your conscience allows you to do?

Situation 2: A brother knows that the Bible does not condemn using alcohol in moderation, but he chooses to abstain from it. He is invited to a social gathering where he sees brothers drinking alcohol.

Read Ecclesiastes 7:16 and Romans 14:1 and 10, and then discuss the questions that follow:

[Read scripture] Ecclesiastes 7:16: Do not be overly righteous, nor show yourself excessively wise. Why should you bring ruin to yourself? [End of Read scripture]

[Read scripture] Romans 14:1: Welcome the man having weaknesses in his faith, but do not pass judgment on differing opinions. [End of Read scripture]

[Read scripture] Romans 14:10: But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you also look down on your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. [End of Read scripture]

Based on these verses, what might that brother decide?

What will you do if you see another person doing something that your conscience keeps you from doing?

[Image:] A woman praying. [Image:] The same woman doing research using the Bible, Bible-based publications, and a computer. [Image:] The same woman thinking.

1. Ask Jehovah to help you decide what to do. (James 1:5)

[Quotation] James 1:5: So if any one of you is lacking in wisdom, let him keep asking God, for he gives generously to all and without reproaching, and it will be given him. [End Quotation]

2. Do research in the Bible and Bible-based publications to find principles that apply. You may also consult experienced Christians.

3. Consider the effect the decision will have on your conscience and the consciences of others. [End of box]

[Box]

Some People Say: “You have the right to do whatever you want. Who cares what other people think?” Why should we consider the feelings of God, as well as those of other people? [End of box]

Summary

We make good decisions when we find out how Jehovah feels about a matter and then consider whether our actions will help others or harm them.

Review

How can you make decisions that please Jehovah?

How can you train your conscience?

How can you show respect for the consciences of other people?

Goal

Think of an upcoming decision that you have to make. Apply the three steps in the box “What Steps Lead to Good Decisions?” Set Other Goals

Explore

How can you make decisions that strengthen your friendship with God? “Make Decisions That Honor God” (The Watchtower, April 15, 2011)

[Click for article]|[Coming soon] [Click to close]

Deepen your understanding of how Jehovah gives us advice. Jehovah Guides His People (9:50)

[Click for transcript]|[Coming soon] [Click to close]

See what factors helped one man to make a difficult decision. Jehovah Guarantees All That Is Good (5:46)