Lesson 49 How Can Your Family Be Happy?​ Part 1

[Click for Transcript]|[Husbands, Love Your Wife as Yourself]
[Text: JW Broadcasting] M. Stephen Lett. Governing Body]
Stephen: My theme for this little discussion is “Husbands, Love Your Wife as Yourself.” What did Jesus say was the second greatest commandment? Well, you’re familiar with it. At Matthew 22:39, he said: “You must love your neighbor as yourself.” Now, what an excellent illustration is contained in this second greatest commandment! If you think about it, we just naturally, inherently, love ourselves, don’t we? And we show love in many ways. So, Jesus is saying, “Work hard to show the same love for others you show for yourself.” But now, thinking of husbands as addressed in our theme, who is a husband’s closest neighbor? Well, his wife. So especially must a husband work hard to show the love that he shows for himself just naturally and then to show that love for his wife. Now, what are some specific ways that husbands just naturally love themselves? Well, let’s talk about five. And undoubtedly you can think of many others that could be discussed during this discussion. But number one: A husband feeds himself. Ephesians 5:29 says in part: “For no man ever hated his own body, but he feeds . . . it.” Well, what does loving our wife, now, as ourself require? Well, for one thing, we certainly would make sure we provide for the food and for other material needs that our wife has. And regarding this, I think of our brothers in concentration camps in Nazi Germany. Food was very scarce. But our brothers, even then, from their meagre food ration would share food with other brothers, even, in some cases, with worldly people. Well, similarly, a husband would do without himself, if necessary, in order to provide what his wife really needs. But even more importantly, an extended application, he would make sure that she is well-fed spiritually. He must make sure that she has opportunity to benefit from periods of personal study, congregation meetings, assemblies, conventions, and family worship. But now let’s talk about a second way that a husband just naturally loves himself: We cherish ourselves. Ephesians 5:29 says in part: “For no man ever hated his own body, but he . . . cherishes it.” Now, what does cherish mean? Well, according to the dictionary, it means to treat with affection and tenderness, treasure, value, attach importance to. See, because of this feeling we have toward ourselves, we try to get rest when we’re sick or tired; we try to be with friends and loved ones; we play games; we exercise; we do things we enjoy. Periodically, we treat ourselves, don’t we, because we cherish ourselves? So, what does loving our wife as ourself require? Well, it certainly means more than just being able to put up with our mate. It means cherishing her, cultivating affection, or fondness, for her. Think of this: At Proverbs 8:31, it says that Jesus in his prehuman existence was fond of humans. Now, don’t you think that fondness he had for us made it easier for him to come to the earth, take the difficult assignment he took, and even die for us because he was fond of us? Well, similarly, if wives are cherished by their husbands, if husbands are fond of their wives, it’ll make it so much easier to forgive them, to even die for them, if necessary, in the future. But if we’re going to have this proper feeling, like Jehovah, we have to focus on the good qualities of our wife, see, not the flaws, the imperfections. And as one of the brothers commented on (I love the thoughts in The Watchtower comments): “Love is best sensed when it is expressed. “How vital that marriage mates “not allow the activities of daily life to rob them of exchanging expressions of affection!” But now let’s get a third way that husbands just naturally love themselves: We adorn ourselves. First Timothy 2:9 speaks of women “adorn[ing] themselves in appropriate dress.” Well, husbands try to do the same thing. And in adorning ourselves, we try to cover over and minimize our flaws and cover our bulges, our blemishes. We try to make ourselves look as good as possible, don’t we? Well, what does loving our wife as ourself require? For one thing, we certainly wouldn’t shine a spotlight on her flaws. We wouldn’t do this in the presence of others. We would try hard not to even do it in our own mind. Rather, we seek to cover over minor sins and transgressions, as encouraged at Proverbs 19:11, where it says: “It is beauty . . . to overlook an offense.” So, we work hard to adorn our wives —make her look as good as possible, in the eyes of others, even in our own mind. Well, let’s get a fourth way that husbands just naturally love themselves: We take steps to heal ourselves when we’re sick or injured. Mark 5:26 talks about a woman who was very sick. ‘She suffered at the hands of many physicians; ‘she spent all her resources; she didn’t get any better; she got worse.’ But the point is, she was really trying hard to heal herself. Well, husbands try to do the same thing. So, if we’re sick or injured, we try to get extra rest, we’ll buy medicine, we’ll take vitamins, we’ll make an appointment with the doctor, we’ll pursue therapy. See, we try to get well. What does loving our wife as ourself require then? Well, we would certainly do all within our power if she’s sick or injured to try to help her get well. But even more importantly, if she happens to be ailing somewhat spiritually, we would do everything we can possibly do to help her get well spiritually. What would be something, perhaps, we could do? Well, Proverbs 12:18 says: “The tongue of the wise is a healing” so the using of wise expressions. Also, Proverbs 16:24: “Pleasant sayings are a honeycomb, “sweet to the soul and a healing to the bones.” So, “pleasant sayings,” we would use these to try to help her get well spiritually. But now here’s one more, a fifth way that husbands just naturally love themselves: We make allowances, excuses, if we make mistakes. Husbands who make mistakes are often heard blaming it on their heredity or maybe the environment, their blood-sugar level, how much sleep they got or didn’t get the night before, the weather, and so forth. We tend to well understand our own limitations, don’t we? And we allow for that. Well, what about loving our wife as ourself? We’d make the same allowances for her, being positive, imputing good motives to her. If she speaks a little roughly or acts a little thoughtlessly, we’ll try to discern the feelings behind the words or actions. We’ll make allowance, especially if we can discern that she’s under some kind of emotional pressure. We’ll make that allowance for her like we would for ourselves. Well, there we have five ways that we as husbands show love for ourselves. We feed, cherish, adorn, try to heal ourselves; and we make allowances, excuses, when we make mistakes. Let’s work hard to show the same love in those five areas for our dear, beloved wives. And I’m sure, as we said, you can think of other ways that husbands just naturally love themselves. But what a rich illustration Jesus gave! And interestingly, he took it even a step further. He further expanded the illustration at John 13:34. You’re familiar with this, 13:34. He said: “I am giving you a new commandment, “that you love one another; “just as I have loved you, you also love one another.” So, he’s saying that we should have even deeper love for our brothers, which would definitely include our Christian wives, a deeper love than we have for ourselves. And that deeper love would move us to treat our dear wives even better than we treat ourselves.
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