Lesson 50 How Can Your Family Be Happy? Part 2
[Image:] A family talking together on a dock at a beautiful lake.
[Press play to hear the MP3 of the Lesson]
Children are a gift from Jehovah. He expects parents to take good care of that gift. Jehovah provides wise advice that can help parents to do so. His advice can also help children to have a share in making family life a success.
1. What advice does Jehovah give to parents?
Jehovah expects parents to love their children and to spend as much time as possible with them. He also wants parents to protect their children from harm and to use Bible principles as the basis for training them. (Proverbs 1:8)
[Quotation] Proverbs 1:8: Listen, my son, to the discipline of your father, And do not forsake the instruction of your mother. [End Quotation]
He tells fathers: “Go on bringing [your children] up in the . . . admonition of Jehovah.” (Read Ephesians 6:4)
[Read scripture] Ephesians 6:4: And fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and admonition of Jehovah. [End of Read scripture]
Jehovah is pleased if parents follow his direction when raising their children and do not pass that responsibility on to someone else.
2. What advice does Jehovah give to children?
Jehovah instructs children: “Be obedient to your parents.” (Read Colossians 3:20)
[Read scripture] Colossians 3:20: You children, be obedient to your parents in everything, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. [End of Read scripture]
When children respect and obey their parents, they make both Jehovah and their parents happy. (Proverbs 23:22 through 25)
[Quotation] Proverbs 23:22 through 25: Listen to your father who caused your birth, And do not despise your mother just because she has grown old. Buy truth and never sell it, Also wisdom and discipline and understanding. The father of a righteous one will surely be joyful; Whoever fathers a wise son will rejoice in him. Your father and your mother will rejoice, And she who gave birth to you will be joyful. [End Quotation]
Jesus set a good example when he was a child. Although he was perfect, he obeyed and respected his parents. (Luke 2:51 and 52)
[Quotation] Luke 2:51 and 52: Then he went down with them and returned to Nazareth, and he continued subject to them. Also, his mother carefully kept all these sayings in her heart. And Jesus went on progressing in wisdom and in physical growth and in favor with God and men. [End Quotation]
3. How can you draw closer to God as a family?
If you are a parent, no doubt you want your children to love Jehovah as much as you do. How can you accomplish this goal? By doing what the Bible says: “You must inculcate [Jehovah’s words] in your sons and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road.” (Deuteronomy 6:7)
[Quotation] Deuteronomy 6:7: and you must inculcate them in your sons and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up. [End Quotation]
To “inculcate” means to teach by repeating something. Likely, you know that you must often repeat something to your children so that they will remember it. This scripture means that you should look for regular opportunities to talk to your children about Jehovah. It is a good idea to set aside some time each week to worship as a family. If you do not have children, you will still benefit by taking time each week to study God’s Word.
Dig Deeper
Consider practical suggestions that contribute to a happy and secure family life.
4. Train your children with love
Training a child can be challenging. How can the Bible help? Read James 1:19 and 20, and then discuss the questions that follow:
[Read scripture] James 1:19 and 20: Know this, my beloved brothers: Everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger, for man’s anger does not bring about God’s righteousness. [End of Read scripture]
How can parents show love when they communicate with their children?
Why should a parent never discipline his children when he is angry? *[Footnote] * In the Bible, “discipline” relates to instruction, guidance, and correction. It never means abuse or cruelty. (Proverbs 4:1)
[Quotation] Proverbs 4:1: Listen, my sons, to the discipline of a father; Pay attention in order to gain understanding, [End Quotation]
[End of footnote]
[Image:] A father squatting down and talking with his son who is holding a ball. A broken pot lies on the floor.
5. Protect your children
To safeguard your children, it is crucial that you talk to each child about sex. This may feel awkward. Play the video Safeguard Your Children From Evil (2:58), and then discuss the questions that follow.
[Disclaimer: The following video is created by Watchtower Bible and Tract Society; however, the audio description has been added independently to assist those who are blind or have low vision]
[Click for Transcript]|[Safeguard your children from evil]
[A woman with dark red hair and glasses drives in her car while her young son sits in the back seat]
Mother of Emilien: At times, it can be difficult to talk to Emilien about sex because Emilien is a young boy, and I am a single mother. I’ve been a widow for nine years. And I find sexual education a difficult topic to talk about.
[Drinking coffee at the kitchen bar she chats with her son. Now a light blue house is shown next to a field]
Husband 1: In our culture, talking about sex is taboo, so much so that our parents do not talk to us about it.
[The wife cooks Indian food in a skillet]
Wife 1: It is hard to know how much information we should give to our children. Children are naturally curious.
[Their two children play]
Our fear is: What if they get wrong thoughts?
[Now surrounded by mountains many houses are shown in a village in Africa]
Husband 2: It is not easy to bring up children in the last days of this system of things.
[Five children in school uniforms arrive home]
Wife 2: It is very difficult to train children in a blended family, but with the help of Jehovah, it is Jehovah who has helped us to train them.
[Sitting in their living area they have family worship. Now the widowed sister does personal study]
Mother of Emilien: It’s true that Jehovah has given us an incredible task to raise our children in the truth, but I am calm and confident because thanks to his organization, we always have what we need, in due time, to successfully carry out this task.
[Eating supper with her son]
I use the videos provided by “the faithful and discreet slave” that relate to the topics Emilien wants to talk about, in particular, the video 'Protect Your Children', which speaks about sexual predators, is a good starting point for a discussion on this.
[On the tablet they watch Caleb tell his mom about a predator. The Indian couple prepare their children’s study]
Husband 1: Even before Satan’s world can teach our children about sex; we can teach them.
[He explains to the children]
'Learn From the Great Teacher,' chapter 32, has beautiful questions. It helps us to understand what is in their hearts and how much information they already know.
[They look at tablets]
Since we have already spoken to them about sex at this age, we can talk about any serious matters in the future without feeling awkward.
[The father asks his children a question and the children imitate Caleb by putting their hand out to stop]
Wife 2: We lean on the counsel from the Bible regarding sexuality, and this has helped the children to fear Jehovah.
[The family trek up a hill together]
Husband 2: Every time that we go out to the fields to do our work, we are talking all the time with the children. I see that Jehovah has blessed these efforts. We do not have any problems among the children or with others.
[The father points out to the mountains as he speaks to his children]
(Logo: Black capital letters JW.ORG inside a white box. Copyright 2017 Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania) [Click to close]
Why is it a challenge for some parents to talk to their children about sex?
In what way have some parents explained sex to their children?
As was prophesied, Satan’s world is becoming more and more wicked. Read 2 Timothy 3:1 and 13, and then discuss the question that follows:
[Read scripture] 2 Timothy 3:1: But know this, that in the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here. [End of Read scripture]
[Read scripture] 2 Timothy 3:13: But wicked men and impostors will advance from bad to worse, misleading and being misled. [End of Read scripture]
Some of the wicked people referred to in verse 13 sexually abuse children. Therefore, why is it important for parents to teach their children about sex and how to protect themselves from abusers?
Jehovah’s Witnesses produce many tools that help parents to teach their children about sex and to protect them from abuse. For example, see:
Protect Your Children (1:52)
Learn From the Great Teacher, chapters 10 and 32
“Teaching Your Child About Sex” (Awake! Number 5 2016) [End of box]
6. Respect your parents
Children and teenagers can show respect for their parents by the way they speak to them. Play the video How Can I Talk to My Parents? (2:19), and then discuss the questions that follow.
[Disclaimer: The following video is created by Watchtower Bible and Tract Society; however, the audio description has been added independently to assist those who are blind or have low vision]
[Click for Transcript]|[How can I talk to my parents? Whiteboard Animation]
[On a dry erase board with a black marker, a little boy is drawn, running to his parents to show them something]
Presenter: When you were younger, your parents were probably the first ones you ran to for advice.
[His parents smile]
But now you might feel that your parents just don’t understand you.
[As he ages, question marks appear above parents]
Deep down, you still want to talk to them. But what if you try, and you feel they just aren’t listening?
[Dad works on a car]
Well, you could raise your voice, but shouting won’t make your parents more receptive and won’t show them the respect they deserve.
[Shouts with megaphone]
You could give your parents the silent treatment, but the Bible suggests at Proverbs 15:22 that things only get more frustrating when you don’t talk. So, saying nothing really gets you nowhere. It’s smarter to just wait for a better time to talk.
[Talks while they drink coffee]
Or you might even write them an honest but respectful letter expressing how you feel. But what if the situation is flipped? Yeah, that’s right. Your parents want to talk, but you don’t.
[The boy’s under a rain cloud]
Maybe you had a bad day at school. It’s true that choosing to talk when you don’t feel like it could mean the conversation will be forced, which makes everyone tense and leads to poor communication.
[Mom under a rain cloud]
But refusing to talk means you’ll still be stressed, and your parents might think that the problem is bigger than it is, or worse, that you’re hiding something. Instead, you could start off talking with them on a subject that isn’t as stressful or even one that makes you happy.
[Talks about soccer]
That will ease the tension or get rid of it all together.
[He smiles with dad after they play soccer]
The bottom line: Your parents want to help you, and you can use their help.
[The boy and his parents confidently smile]
So, choose your words carefully, deliver them respectfully, and think of your parents as friends, not enemies.
He writes a letter, talks with parents, and plays with dad]
Because let’s face it, you’ll need all the allies you can get to cope with the challenges that lie ahead.
[Standing with his parents, he looks ahead to romance, graduation, and bullies]
(Logo: Black capital letters JW.ORG inside a white box. Copyright 2017 Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania) [Click to close]
Why is it worthwhile for a young person to communicate respectfully with his parents?
How can a young person speak to his parents in a way that shows them honor?
Read Proverbs 1:8, and then discuss the question that follows:
[Read scripture] Proverbs 1:8: Listen, my son, to the discipline of your father, And do not forsake the instruction of your mother. [End of Read scripture]
How should a young person react when his parents give him direction?
7. Worship Jehovah as a family
The families of Jehovah’s Witnesses set aside a specific time each week to worship together. What can this family worship be like? Play the video Family Worship—The Challenges and the Rewards (8:04), and then discuss the questions that follow.
[Disclaimer: The following video is created by Watchtower Bible and Tract Society; however, the audio description has been added by independent blind and sighted volunteers to assist those who are blind or have low vision]
[Click for Transcript]|[Family worship. The challenges and the rewards
[The Challenges]
Father 1: Finding a way to get everybody, five people at the same time, to have a whole evening together can be a challenge.
Father 2: I wondered whether I would be able to make our family worship interesting and beneficial. I was not very confident.
Daughter 1: A challenge for me is my own attitude toward family worship. I would hang out with my friends from the congregation.
Father 3: Children like it when you are interested in them and spend time with them, but you don’t always have the time and energy needed.
Mother 1: I had to provide financially for the family. I was always tired and worn out, so it was very hard to have family worship regularly.
Father 4: Kenzie, of course, is a child with special needs, and she has her challenges. And there are times when it just doesn’t work.
Son of Father 5: Sometimes my dad would make us attend family worship when I actually wanted to go to bed. It is quite annoying.
Father 5: That’s an honest reply.
Mother 2: We have three different age groups: We have a teenager, we have a preteen, and we have a son who’s very active and hyper.
Mother 3: My husband, not being a worshipper of Jehovah, might have different plans for the family.
[Consistency and Determination]
Father 6: When the Family Worship arrangement was introduced, it became a part of our service to Jehovah, didn’t it? We never miss a congregation meeting, so why should we miss family worship?
Father 7: Whether I’m tired or not, the consistency of having family worship is very important.
Mother 4: It really requires discipline, because sometimes there are things that we want to do, and we just know, well, the family study is what’s most important, so we have to give that up.
Son of Father 2: My friends and the brothers in the congregation often call me to exercise or play sports. Since the day for family worship doesn’t change each week, it becomes easier to turn them down.
Mother 5: I’ve said to the girls: “Let’s try to push each other. Let’s try to encourage each other,” because it’s not easy. I feel it has to start with me making the time and effort to leave work on time in order to be able to honor our family worship.
Father 2: I became confident that this can really be successful.
Daughter of Mother 5: I think the most important thing is the love we have for Jehovah. That keeps us going, I think. That’s our motivation.
Wife of Father 4: We are determined to teach her as much as we possibly can so that she’ll possibly understand, so that the truth will mean everything to her too.
Mother 5: We’ll get there. We’ll get there.
[Flexibility]
Father 6: We’re a family, and things pop up, and something can come up unexpectedly. So, we need to cover all the angles.
Mother 6: We make it relaxing. The children look forward to getting cake or fruit or something else so that it doesn’t get strict and rigid.
Wife of Father 4: We have to know when to be flexible.
Father 3: When you have children, you feel that you have to make small, short sessions so that they can concentrate on the subject being discussed.
Mother 7: As they got older, we had to change the methods.
Father 8: At times, we invite brothers in our congregation.
Wife of Father 8: We might get the kids to organize some questions so they can interview the brother or sister that is coming over, especially if they’re new in the congregation.
Father 1: So sometimes family worship might be about issues that our family is facing; sometimes it might be about things in the ministry that we want to try to accomplish; sometimes it might be about games. So, we’ve stretched out all over the floor and done all sorts of wonderful things for family worship because it keeps people engaged.
[Relevance]
Father 6: It’s all about asking the family what they would like to talk about. If the family is involved, it is a family worship rather than Dad, or myself, setting out the agenda for family worship. Well, then, it would be Dad’s family worship and not for the whole family. But if we get the feedback from the whole family, from everyone, everyone gets to put in ideas, then we just plan that accordingly.
Father 8: The reality of what we need now for relevance is that we need to make sure they are grounded in their faith and belief.
Husband of Mother 7: At every family study, we always try to focus on the kids’ spiritual goals.
Son of Father 6: Once, a kid at school came and asked me if I could play for the football team. And I thought it was a good idea, so I went to Dad and asked him. And then he said, “Oh, why don’t we do something called role reversal?” I would play the dad, and he would play the son.
Daughter of Mother 7: In my case, the biggest pressure I have to face is dating in school, and family worship helps me a lot!
Daughter of Mother 1: Instead of allowing my problems and negative emotions to fester within me, I shared these feelings with my family during family worship. Mom was very understanding, and she made an effort to come up with themes during family worship to address those issues.
Daughter of Mother 3: We decided to make a scroll out of the book of Isaiah. It really helps me to realize that Jehovah’s organization makes it easier for us to find the scriptures that we’re looking for and not to make it so complicated, like in Jesus’ days.
Son of Father 2: But for me, the best thing is to have an opportunity to express myself.
Daughter of Father 6: It’s good sometimes to break it up a bit, so it’s not always Dad talking.
[The Rewards]
Father 5: When I see how happy all the family members are after our family worship, I silently thank Jehovah for helping me fulfil my responsibility as the head of the household.
Husband of Mother 6: Our children have learned to be more outgoing and participate more in the meetings.
Mother 1: It was Jehovah’s way of telling me: ‘You are not alone. You have these precious children with you.’ It’s just that I wasn’t paying enough attention to them.
Son of Father 1: We open with prayer, and then right after that, it’s just amazing. It’s really fun. So, getting there is the hard part, but once we get into it, that’s when it starts, that’s when we start having fun.
Father 9: Family worship has been protecting my family, and it has been preparing my family for the difficulties we face.
Mother 5: We actually are more open with each other now than we ever were before. And we can discuss just about anything and everything, which is actually good.
Daughter of Mother 1: Family worship made me realize how happy I am to have Jehovah as my God and that I have many reasons to be happy.
Daughter of Mother 5: And it feels like I can just let go of what was making me sad or what was making me a bit angry, and I can just be like, ‘It’s fine’ because I know everything will be OK and Jehovah has blessed our evening.
(Logo: Black capital letters JW.ORG inside a white box. Copyright 2014 Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania) [Click to close]
How can a family have a regular Family Worship program?
What can a parent do to make family worship practical and enjoyable? See opening picture of this lesson.
What may make it a challenge for you to study together?
In ancient Israel, Jehovah expected families to talk regularly about the Scriptures. Read Deuteronomy 6:6 and 7, and then discuss the question that follows:
[Read scripture] Deuteronomy 6:6 and 7: These words that I am commanding you today must be on your heart, and you must inculcate them in your sons and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up. [End of Read scripture]
How can you apply this principle?
[Box] Ideas for Family Worship:
Prepare for congregation meetings.
Read and discuss a Bible account that your family will enjoy.
If you have young children, download or print an activity for children from jw.org.
If you have teenage children, discuss an article for teenagers on jw.org.
Act out a Bible story with your children.
Watch and discuss a video on JW.org. [End of box]
[Box]
Some People Say: “The Bible is too complicated for children.” What would you say? [End of box]
Summary
Jehovah wants parents to love, train, and protect their children; children to respect and obey their parents; and families to worship him together.
Review
How can parents train and protect their children?
How can children show honor to their parents?
What are the benefits of setting aside time each week to worship as a family?
Goal
Ask others in the congregation for ideas on what to consider for family worship. Set Other Goals
Explore
What lessons will prepare your child for adulthood? “Six Lessons Children Need to Learn” (Awake! Number 2 2019)
[Click for article]|[Coming soon] [Click to close]
Learn practical advice that the Bible offers to caregivers. “What Does the Bible Say About Caregiving for Elderly Parents?” (Web article)
[Click for article]|[Coming soon] [Click to close]
See how a man who did not know how to raise children became a successful father. Taught by Jehovah to Raise Our Family (5:58)
[Click for transcript]|[Coming soon] [Click to close]
Consider how fathers can strengthen their relationship with their sons. “How Can Fathers Stay Close to Their Sons?” (The Watchtower, November 1, 2011)
[Click for article]|[Coming soon] [Click to close]