Transcripts: My Teen Life

Transcript: My Teen Life. How Can I Talk to My Parents?
[My Teen Life. Episode 1. How Can I Talk to My Parents? Esther. United States]
Esther: Well, when I was a teenager, I didn’t see any benefit in talking to my parents because they liked different things than I liked.
[An old woman hand stitches]
So, I thought, ‘Well, what’s the point?’ And I also wanted to be an adult. I wanted to feel like an adult and be treated like an adult. I remember when my mom used to pick me up from school. She wanted to show personal interest in me, so she’d ask me: “Oh, how are your friends doing? How was school today? Do you have a lot of homework?” But I just thought that she was being nosy. I always had my earphones on. And whenever my parents were trying to talk to me, that was my chance to just pop them in and ignore them.
[Partik. United States]
Partik: The way my parents grew up wasn’t the same way that I grew up. They grew up in a different country; they spoke a different language; they grew up in a different time.
[Ox cart]
When you’re talking to somebody who doesn’t speak your language natively, oftentimes you won’t be able to explain things from your heart. And so, I had that challenge. I wasn’t able to talk directly to my parent’s heart to heart. And so there was always this frustration in trying to really convey how I felt. And I felt like I wasn’t really getting through to my parents.
Esther: When I went to my first pioneer school, I learned a lot about Jehovah’s qualities. And one of them was how he was a very approachable Person. And I thought to myself, ‘Am I an approachable person?’
[Sharp cactus]
And I thought about how I acted in the ministry and then at the meetings and then at home. And I realized that at home I had a lot of things I needed to fix.
Partik: I felt like it was two different worlds I was living in. One was when I was at school with my peers; I felt like I was understood. And at home, I kind of just withdrew to myself. I wouldn’t try to communicate with them because it didn’t seem worth the effort. I tried to figure out problems in my own way. It was kind of trial and error.
[Cartoon experiment gone wrong]
I developed a lot of bad habits that today I’m still trying to overcome. If I’d been able to communicate with them more, if I’d been able to connect with them and ask for their help and get their support and have them on my team, things would have gone a lot better. And I really wish I did.
Esther: Jesus, who was a perfect human being and who had perfect judgment, didn’t make decisions on his own. He always looked to his Father for guidance.
(Text: ‘Jesus spent the whole night in prayer to God’ Luke 6:12)
And that got me thinking, Well, if Jesus did that, there has to be something good in it for me too. What really helped me was Colossians 4:6.
(Text: ‘Let your words always be gracious’)
I knew I needed to speak more graciously in the family. And I realized that I was speaking very defensively and that I needed to be more approachable to my parents. When I first tried to talk with them, of course, it was awkward, and I didn’t want to talk about anything personal because I wasn’t used to it. So, I thought I could maybe ask them about themselves, ask them how their day was or what they liked from the meetings. So, I just tried to show more interest in them instead of focusing on myself.
(Text: ‘Look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of other.’ Philippians 2:4)
And I think that’s what got the conversations going and got me comfortable to really talk with them.
Partik: I was so focused on how my parents weren’t understanding me that I wasn’t really trying to understand them.
(Text: ‘Love… does not look for its own interests.’ 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5)
When I thought about my parents, I thought about how much work it takes to be a parent. From when I was a baby, for many years, they were working day and night to try to care for me. They never demanded a thank you or anything from me. They were really self-sacrificing. And I imagined: If I had to work that much for somebody, how would I feel if they didn’t really say thank you? Or how would I feel if this person whom I worked so hard for didn’t really view me as their friend?
(Text: ‘Just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to them.’ Luke 6:31)
Esther: Later on, as I got older and started that communication going with my parents, I realized that taking their advice and really listening to their opinions and always letting them know what I’m going to do and where I’m going to go was a mature thing to do.
Partik: Our heart oftentimes takes the driver’s seat, and it directs us to where it thinks it should go.
(‘The heart is more treacherous than anything else.’ Jeremiah 17:9)
And oftentimes it goes in the wrong direction, and we sometimes get hurt. Then we look back and say, “I wish I hadn’t done that.” And our parents have been there. What they’re trying to do for us now is to tell us, “Don’t let your heart take the driver’s seat.”
Esther: If I could talk to my teenage self, I would tell myself to see my mom and dad more like coaches, because I used to think they were always trying to criticize me and point out my faults. But really, they’re just trying to help me, and they want me to have a happy life. I really wish I knew that as a teenager. But I’m glad I learned that now.
[Text: What could help you… talk to your parents? Pray for help. Luke 6:12. Speak kindly. Colossians 4:6. Understand their perspective. Luke 6:31. My Teen Life]
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